lets laugh.!!!

Complicated Breakfast Order

A guest in a posh hotel comes down to breakfast and called over the head waiter and read from the menu, “I`d like two boiled eggs, one of them so under cooked that it’s runny, and one so over cooked that it’s tough and hard to eat. "I’d also like grilled bacon that has been left out so it gets a bit on the cold side; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm." That’s a complicated order sir”, said the bewildered waiter. “It might be quite difficult.” The guest replied sarcastically, “It can’t be that difficult because that’s exactly what you brought me yesterday!”

lets laugh.!!!

Letter of Recommendation

While working with Mr. Smith, I have always found him working studiously and sincerely at his table without gossiping with colleagues in the office. He seldom wastes his time on useless things. Given a job, he always finishes the given assignment in time. He is always deeply engrossed in his official work, and can never be found chitchatting in the canteen. He has absolutely no vanity in spite of his high accomplishment and profound knowledge of his field. I think he can easily be classed as outstanding, and should on no account be dispensed with. I strongly feel that Mr. Xxxxxx should be pushed to accept promotion, and a proposal to management be sent away as soon as possible. Branch Manager A second note following the report: Mr. Smith was present when I was writing the report mailed to you today. Kindly read only the alternate lines 1, 3, 5, 7, 9,....... for my true assessment of him. Regards, Branch Manager

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Claim Settlements

Three Insurance salesmen were having drinks and boasting about each companies' service. The first one said, "When one of our insured died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and mailed a check on Wednesday evening." The second one said, "When one of our insured died without warning on Monday, we learned of it in 2 hours and were able to hand-deliver a check the same evening." The last salesman said, "That's nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor, in the Sears Tower. One of our insured, who was washing a window on the 85th floor, slipped and fell. We handed him his check as he passed our floor."

lets laugh.!!!

ure Gold Ferrari

An Arab student sends an e-mail to his dad, saying: Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train. Your son, Nasser The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad: My dear loving son, Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too. Love, your Dad

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Season Pass

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will $be fined 20 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?" At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"

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Begging A Favor

A robust-looking gentleman ate a large meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some fine wine, and then he summoned the headwaiter. “Do you recall,” he asked pleasantly, “how a year ago, I ate just such a wonderful meal here and then, because I couldn’t pay for it, you had me thrown into the alley like a beggar?” “I’m very sorry sir…” began the contrite headwaiter. “Oh, it’s quite all right.” said the guest, “but I’m afraid I’ll have to trouble you again…”

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Little Johnny and Vibrator

A teacher asks the class to name things that end with 'tor' that eat things. The first little boy says, "Alligator." "Very good, that's a big word." The second boy says, "Predator." "Yes, that's another big word. Well done." Little Johnny says, "Vibrator, Miss." After nearly falling off her chair, she says, "That is a big word, but it doesn't eat anything." "Well my sister has one and she says it eats batteries like there's no tomorrow!"